My twentieth birthday happened today! (10/20) I am no longer a teenager and it is terrifying! I am unable to use the excuses of “teen angst” or “I’m a teen and I’m figuring it out” without getting weird looks from other fellow adults.
Therefore, I compiled a list of twenty things I have yet to learn or accept into my life. I cannot stress how important it is for me to learn this soon for the sake of becoming a well-adjusted adult within society. (A.K.A. Becoming a Totally Together
Without further ado, I Need to Know How To…
1. Be More Confident
As much as I brag about being a boss bitch from hell that does not let anything crush her, I am not the most confident gal in the bunch. Being perfectly candid, there is a gender bias to my lack of confidence. Women are more likely to receive a negative connotation when they want something. Personally, it scares me being thought of as aggressive or annoying. However, nothing would get done if it weren’t for confident people. I need to learn how to embrace terms like aggressive and annoying if I plan to break through this patriarchal society. In addition, one day I plan on becoming someone that little girls aspire to become. I cannot imagine Justice Sandra Day O’Connor or Stevie Nicks being afraid of coming across as aggressive or annoying. So, why am I?
2. Network(/ Make Friends)
Networking is the most necessary evil. I, personally, see networking as using people to advance your career or your personal life. Feel free to disagree. However, I do not know how to appear cool when I have secret ulterior motives towards building a relationship with someone. Making new friends is not all that different from networking. They are one of the same. You can totally use your friends to advance your life! So, how do you make yourself cool enough so that people are willing to help you out? I’m asking for a friend.
3. Do My Taxes
Why don’t they teach us the process of doing our taxes in high school? Learning this topic is vital if we plan on becoming law-abiding members of society. I do not want to move away from my parents house because the responsibility of doing my taxes would be too overwhelming. What if I do them wrong? I need to learn how to do this before I head out to law school.
4. Wake Up Early Without Hitting Snooze
I hit snooze so much, it could be considered bullying. I need to get into the habit of waking up and staying up. Lately, my bed seduces me back to sleep until I am late for everything. How am I to have responsibilities when I can not even get up?
5. Take Aesthetically Pleasing Pictures
I envy people that have killer Instagram pages. I wish my world could look as magnificent as theirs. For the purposes of bragging about my pretty life, I want to learn how to take aesthetically pleasing pictures. In addition, I want to have the capability of taking a perfect shot in the first try. Not how I take pictures lately by taking fifty pictures in the hopes of getting a perfect shot within the crappy ones…A girl can only dream.
6. Be Honest Without Being Blunt
When I was younger, I was a big fat liar. Nowadays, I do not like to lie unless I absolutely have to. (That is what liars say so that they won’t feel bad when they resort to lying.) However, sometimes when I am being too candid, I come across as rude and blunt. I want to learn what the sweet spot between honesty and kindness is so that I can gain a reputation as a sincere woman.
7. Not Lose Hope When Someone Cannot Hang Out With Me
Like any normal human being, I get extremely anxious whenever I make plans with someone. If I really want to become close with that person, my expectations rise high. I will get really excited to make plans because I am most likely in friend love with them. However, if they cannot hang out with me because they have a lot going on in their lives, ugly thoughts cloud my mind. I will assume that this person does not like me. And, I will be hesitant to befriend them.
I do not like that I let my insecurities prevent me from becoming close with someone. For that reason, I need to learn how to not lose hope and compromise. If I want something, I need to at least try.
8. Not Let Stress Overwhelm Me
Staying cool, calm, and collected has never been my forte. If stress becomes too overbearing, I will not be able to control my emotions. There will be tears, screams, and hyperventilation. When there shouldn’t be. I need to listen to Frankie and relax.
9. Be Able to Work Without Stress
I will make a ton of excuses for the sake of procrastinating. I cannot work without stress. I need to change that for my sake. I need to learn how to time manage and be able to work effectively through that system.
10. Be Healthy and Stay Healthy
Health is important. One must maintain it, at a very bothersome cost. This year I’ve gone through various fluctuating periods were I was trying to be healthy and I would later stop caring. Then the cycle would repeat the next month after the next.
When there is no motivation to try, I lose interest. I need to be able to maintain my health. Start eating better. Take in more greens instead of sweets. Eat well but not over eat. I also need to keep my body moving. Whether it is through swimming, running, or even rock-climbing. My vessel needs to stay good because it is the only one I have.
11. Fake It Until I Make It
I come from a culture that prides itself in “faking it until you make it”. However, I am not comfortable with faking anything. I am not interested in feigning interest in a conversation or a person that I do not like. However, I have to be respectful and kind. If not then I become a difficult ass that no one wants to be associated with. The question here is, how can I “fake it” while remaining sincere and kind?
12. Not Cry As Much
I cry a lot. It is just what I do. I am likely to cry over a topic I’m very passionate about. I am very likely to weep loudly during the dramatic climax of a movie. Or if I see a video about a dog and a cat becoming best friends, I will ugly cry. (But, then again, if you do not cry about interspecies becoming friends, then you have no heart.) Even so, crying is not the most socially acceptable thing to do anywhere, except a funeral. So, I need to learn to limit my tears during my adult years.
13. Weed Out and Kick Out Poisonous Friends
I have A LOT of trouble weeding out and kicking out poisonous people since whenever I get close with someone I find it hard to accept that that person is in reality a very putrid and problematic nightmare.
I’m getting better at doing this, but I’m not great. I would like to learn how to quickly identify those toxic individuals and get them far away from me. Sadly, the world makes us learn that lesson multiple times before we grow thicker skin.
14. Be Okay With The Fact That People Will Not Always Like Me
Whenever I hear that someone does not like me, I get anxious. Why? How could they not like me? I am a delight! How dare they?! I start to get insecure and I make myself believe that their interpretation of me is who I am. Which is not fair to myself! I might not be a people-pleaser but that does not mean that I am a cruel and heartless monster! I am a multi-faceted person that requires time and love to understand. Even if that does not come across in a another person’s first impression of me! Sorry for the lack of modesty but I am like an extremely problematic TV character that everyone eventually ends up loving.
People are more than allowed to have their opinions about me, but that does not mean that that is who I am. The only opinion about me that should matter is my own. And, the only way for me to be okay with the fact that people will not always like me is to hold myself to a high regard. I just have trouble remembering this…
15. Deal With Rude People (w/o Being Rude Back)
Gosh, rude people are the worst! They can really ruin my day. Rude people are so engrained in society, that I am becoming one of them. How do I make it stop before the metamorphosis is complete?
16. Be Kind and Caring Without Being a Pushover
When I was younger, I would let people push me over because I was too nice to tell them to stop. Nowadays, I struggle with not being the nicest person in the room. Someday I would really like to have the reputation of someone who is genuinely kind and sincere however, I do not how to do so without becoming a pushover…
17. Hold Chopsticks Correctly
I do not know how to hold chopsticks. I’m very certain that in my future, I will be invited to eat at oriental venues and I will embarrass myself there because I cannot hold chopsticks correctly.
18. Be Okay With People Having Crushes On Me
I’m not totally okay with people having crushes on me. It is too stressful! There are so many expectations and responsibilities that go with being a crush. And, I am afraid of hurting someone’s feelings. However, I cannot let fear prevent me from welcoming something that can potentially be grand.
19. Become My Ultimate Fan
People my age tend to have a body image problem. I am no stranger to those lousy feelings. I have gotten a lot better about loving myself than how I was when I was in high school, however there is room for improvement. Such as being able to love myself even when I am not feeling my look on a particular day. Like Hailee Steinfeld says in her summer jam, “(Hey) Gonna love myself, no, I don't need anybody else”.
I need to practice being my ultimate fan until I become my ultimate fan. I know that my fan would not like me if I spend my time looking at a mirror and glaring at the parts that I do not like about myself. Because I would not be myself without my imperfections.
20. Be The Best Version of Myself
I need to aspire to be the best version of myself. But, I do not know what that entails. I would really like to know what I must do in order to become that super rad person. Hopefully, soon.
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Here is to another twenty years of change. Let us enjoy and relish our youth! By the way, Chvrches’s newest album “Every Open Eye” is the inspiration to this introspection of my coming of age. Their sophomore album is candid and revealing while still maintaining the band’s signature electric beats. Check it out on Spotify!
<3
- Vianey
Vianey is a twenty year old self-identified ranter who can be easily wooed by funny three-dimensional TV characters. When she is not watching sitcoms, bugging her pets, or dancing sporadically she posts every now and then on Kaleidehscope.
Gold, froot goals!
ReplyDeleteOMG WHAT AN HONOR!! <3
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