Spotting the lame-Os

Excuse my cynicism, but people can suck. Sometimes it is foolish to expect people to be good.  This is why meeting new people gives me anxiety. You never know what you are going to get. You do not know if this person is going to end up being a creep or the greatest person you will ever meet. On the other hand, I have known and trusted people that became unpredictable monsters…

It is so hard to get to the point were you can trust someone! However, whenever you get close to someone, it is one of the best feelings ever! It is almost, if not equally, as great as wearing fresh-out-of-the-laundry clothes. Do not let cynicism beat you. Yet, do not totally let go of cynicism. It is a very useful tool when it comes to warding off those irrelevant lame-Os and getting close with the cool kids.

Here is a very short list on how to spot those lame-Os…

- If they have ulterior motives. 

When someone has other intentions that go past friendship, you cannot trust them.

- If they are an unsupportive friend.

If they are the kind of person that will shoot you down for being excited about something. If they belittle your intelligence. Or if they want to keep the focus on themselves, then then they are being gross grumps that do not deserve your friendship.

- If they never stand up for you.

Picture this: Your friend is talking to an acquaintance of yours. This acquaintance decides to rant about how much they do not like you. Your friend is now confronted with a moral dilemma. Do they (1) stand up for you, (2) listen and later report back to you the dirt, (3) listen and say nothing, or (4) join in on the hate-fest?

If 1, then loyal friend. If 2, a tad problematic, yet sincere weasel. If 3, then bye. People that stand for nothing are easily influenced losers. If 4, gurl bye!

- If they are constantly victimizing themselves by making you seem like the villain

Sometimes we can be the victim of a poisonous friend. However, when the “victim” is the poisonous friend, I see no point in them victimizing themselves. In addition, there is nothing great about making yourself the victim! You make yourself look weak and it is a cheap way of having people feel something for you.

-  If they are convinced that you have ulterior motives.

If you are not the real slim shady, please do not stand for someone slamming your good name.

- If they are embarrassed of you

Remember that time that you were having fun and your friend told you to cool your jets? Well, Amy Poehler said that "You can't look dumb when you're having fun", so who looks foolish now, Frank? (P.S. I don't know a Frank.)

- If they embarrass you so that they can look cooler in public

This happens whenever your friend and you are hanging out with other people and your friend (1) reminds you of the very embarrassing thing you did X years ago, (2) makes a very uncool joke about that situation in front of other people, and (3) does not realize how awful that was for you.

- If they never apologize

Any reasonable and prudent person knows that whenever one does bad they must apologize for their wrongdoing. However, if a friend is constantly adhering to condescending, rude, or awful behavior, and they do not apologize for it, then it is obvious that they are heartless sociopaths that you need to steer clear of. Do not forgive them. What is the point of forgiving them if they refuse to apologize. Screw the kindness of forgiveness!

I can only hope that with these tips you'll be able to ward of the lame-Os and have the most rocking #Squad that even Taylor Swift's squad is not able to surpass!

<3

- Vianey

Vianey is a nineteen year old self-identified ranter who can be easily wooed by funny three-dimensional TV characters. When she is not watching sitcoms, bugging her pets, or dancing sporadically she posts every now and then on Kaleidehscope.