Lessons From a Zumba Session

So this week I finally got back to reading Yes, Please by Amy Poehler which Vianey kindly lent me about 5 months ago. 

Yup, it's been a while. One of the things that the lovely Amy Poehler talks about is how she first fell in love with Improv. Now, just in general reading about Ms. Poehler’s life really makes me reflect upon my own and the very little chances that I have taken. I started thinking about how I treat my everyday life as the opposite of the way she describes Improv. I have to have things planned ages in advance, I hesitate way too much, and I’m afraid of letting loose. Later that same day I went to Zumba class with my mom. While trying to keep up with all the cumbia, salsa, and hip hop moves, I started thinking even more about all the ways that I am holding back in life. Other than giving me an awesome workout, Zumba has also made me question just how much I am actually living. Here are 5 things that Zumba has reminded me to do...

1. Don’t be afraid to take up space

When I first enter the Zumba room, I feel like I have to stand somewhere in the back taking up as little space as possible. Arms tucked in, legs close together, maybe a little bit hunched.Someone that is trying to roll themselves up into the tiniest ball possible. A little roly poly afraid to let their existence be known. I find that a lot of the times when I am in a group setting I feel hesitant to open up. Not opening up can really hurt the potential connections you make with people. It sucks because people rarely get to see the real me and then all that held back energy turns into this big ball that later explodes when I'm alone again. While most of this stuff is messing with us internally, it shows on the outside. Our body language can reveal all. But seriously, opening up from that tight and repressed position is so much more liberating and rewarding in the end. You are allowed to make exaggerated gestures and be demonstrative and expressive. Don't apologize for liveliness or excitement. Claim your space and revel in it. 

2. Don’t concern yourself with what everyone else is doing

My initial response in this new setting is to always look around me to see how other people are doing something that I'm unsure of how to do. Watching how someone else moves their hips during a certain step or where they put their hands during a salsa move has saved me from looking like an oversized baby who is barely learning how to walk. Watching other people can teach us a lot about what we could be doing, but there may come a point where looking at others is only making us more insecure about the way we are doing something. Everyone is going to work at their own pace and with their own style and flavor, so don't compare your choices in life to anyone else's. I am always comparing my path to others' and pointing out how some people are basically being better versions of myself and walking on all these routes toward success that I haven't even found yet. But this gets you nowhere. Doing something differently and at your own pace does not mean you are doing it wrong. 

3. Just act like you know what you're doing

If there is anything that I have learned from Zumba other that the fact that I am uncoordinated it's that you can’t let embarrassment hold you back. And guys I am not even exaggerating when I say that one of the moves we did had me looking like Napoleon, only a thousand times dorkier. 

But there is literally no point in getting worked up about how ‘silly’ you feel or look. In life, there are so many things that I have no idea if I'm doing right. Even when I have no idea what I'm doing (which is most of the time), it really helps when I pretend that I do. Confidence is key in anything you pursue. It's so important to believe in your own cause and to believe in your own abilities. I am constantly reminding myself to not freak out when I get lost. Freaking out and panicking only leads to overthinking things and second-guessing. Don't give yourself time to think about it, just jump straight into it and...Fake it till you make it? I guess that's what that phrase actually means. 

Get out there and "make the moves up as [you] go."

4. Give it all you got

Zumba will not be a workout if you don't let it be. You can go through the motions with the least possible energy and get nothing out of it. I usually do this when I'm feeling discouraged. I get into a 'what's the point' mood and let apathy take over my entire being. Once apathy gains control of my body, I become dismissive and completely complacent. I beat around the bush and hope that somewhere through all the stalling, the universe will grant me an opportunity or enlighten me with an answer. Sometimes this works, but most of the time it just means I’m being lazy and afraid. It's easy to become disconnected and disengaged, but Zumba has reminded me that it's not cool to be careless, and it rarely gets you anywhere.

5. Laugh at yourself

Half of the Zumba session is me trying to do a move right and failing miserably. Most of the time I find myself giggling at how silly and lost I look in the big mirror. If the group is taking two steps to the right, you can count on me to be taking two steps to the left. One of the things I find fun is to pretend that my mistakes and improvisations are all part of a comedy routine I am doing. I pretend that I have a secret audience watching me put on a silly show. As for real life, humor is one of the things that has kept me sane. If it weren't for my ability to laugh at myself and make fun of, I would be 100% S-A-D 24/forever. Even if in the end you make a fool of yourself, remind yourself that you're still amazing.

☻
Kristal

DIY Time Machine

I’m going to take things back to the very first post I made called “Low-Key New Year Resolutions” because I have already neglected one of the things I was completely sure I was going to do. Item number 1 on that list was, “Take note of the times you are happy”. By nature, resolutions are bound to be ignored, but seeing as the 21st has announced the first day of Spring - the season of new beginnings - I find it acceptable to start this New Year’s rezzie late. 

One of the reasons I really want to follow through with this rezzie is because lately I have become so forgetful. I blame this on my recent lack of sleep. Being tired can completely throw off the way we normally function and turn us into slow-moving machines that has completely forgotten how to speak in sentences and could really use a nap. Balancing school and work can get exhausting and before I know it the days have all become a blur. That’s why this week I’m going to talk about how you can create your own personal time machine. Inspired by Vianey's "Uninspired DIY", I'll lead you through the 3 simple steps of this project. Disclaimer: this is not a DIY for a machine that let’s you literally travel through time. BUT if you are into metaphorically traveling through time then keep reading!

This idea is not originally mine, and you might have even seen it floating around on the internet yourself. My first thought was that whoever first came up with the idea was a total cheesemaster. OR genius. You decide. You can say both, like me, if you want. But anyway, this time machine can exist in many forms. It can be a list, a box, a phone app, a post it note, a journal…The one I will talk about today is a jar. 

In this jar you are meant to slip in little pieces of paper where you have written what good things have happened on any particular day. The purpose of the jar is to reflect on the things that made you smile or laugh, things that made you happy, any lil accomplishments…etc. You don’t have to write something every day, but it helps to acknowledge at least one good thing that happened, especially if it was an especially crappy day. The great things about this jar is that it will help you give attention to the good things so that the bad things don’t overpower your mindspace. 

Note: Only good thoughts should be allowed in your jar. Your time machine should be programmed to only take you back to the year GOOD.

And now for the steps on how to create your own time machine:

1. Find any jar or object where you would like to preserve time.

2. If you wish, you may decorate your jar. 

This process can be fun and crafty. Paste things you like on your jar: stickers, candy wrappers, pretty paper, doodles, anything that makes you happy!

3. Test run ur time machine by reflecting on the perks of this day.

Note: In this time machine, paper slips and words are not the only thing you can sneak in. Any mementos like photographs, lucky pennies, or ticket stubs are welcome guests.

I call this a time machine because in a way it allows you to slow down time by revisiting the good things from the past. At the end of the year you are meant to open your jar and read back all the wonderful things that happened that year like how you found $5 in your jeans in April OR how you aced your midterm OR how you mixed Valentina Hot sauce with ranch to create the ultimate pizza dipping sauce. Anything from accomplishments, to important realizations, to courageous decisions, to funny moments and exciting moments and inspirational moments.

Note: Nothing is too insignificant for your time machine. As long as it made you happy, it deserves to be acknowledged.

I find that this project is the perfect anecdote for anyone who is feeling discouraged, apathetic, tired, or stressed. The bad things are what usually stand out to us when we look back, and the good can pass right under our noses. I guarantee that by the end of your year, no matter how it may have gone, reading back the moments that made you happy, will fuel you to keep making great memories. I hope you guys enjoy this process and are able to gain something positive from it. Safe travels! 

Thanks for reading☺,

Kristal

“I urge you to please notice when you are happy.” 

- Kurt Vonnegut

What 2 Do When U Don't Feel Like U

I don't know what it is, but lately I've been having a hard time feeling like myself. Maybe I feel like I have a lot going on and start to kind of lose myself in the madness. Maybe I think too much about the way I come off to people and the kind of impressions I leave. Maybe I'm in an awkward transitional phase where I am in the process shedding my old skin and morphing into a beautiful spring butterfly. . .

Either way, I can't seem to wrap my finger around the source, and whatever it is, it's bumming me out. I'm out of place; Something is off. It's as if my past selves are clashing with my present self and fighting for the same space of my potential/future self, and I'm not sure which 'me' to show at any given time. I'm a believer in feeling out emotions and awkward times of our lives so that we can learn from them and try to improve our lives, but once that is done, all the lame feels have to be kicked to the curb. If you ever find yourself feeling out of your element, I hope these tips can make you feel like your damn fine self again.

1. Do something nice for yourself.
Sometimes when I don't feel like myself, it's because I'm tired: mentally and physically drained. And when you're tired, nothing feels right. To remind yourself that you are important and amazing, be nice to yourself. Get yourself those wings that ALWAYS leave you satisfied or take that nice and well-deserved afternoon nap or do your makeup even if you don't have plans to go out or light a sweet-scented candle and drink some nerve-calming tea like the sophisticated scholar that you are. Treat yourself with the gentle care and consideration that your body and soul deserves.

2. Listen to your jams.
Does it make sense when I say to listen to music that just feels like you? Not simply songs that you like. I can't say it any other way than to listen to songs that remind you of who you are. This could mean songs from your childhood (the ones you may or may not feel embarrassed to say that you still have on your ipod) or songs from a good time in your life. Dramatic spanish-ballads that remind you of your mom, rock and roll classics you remember hearing when you helped your dad wash the cars as a kid, or those songs they overplayed on the radio when you were 10 that you now love. Songs that make you happy and that have shaped you over the years. I think this step is a lot more effective when the songs are from your past. I find that these types of songs make me a very specific type of happy and they never fail to fuel my present self with the strange wisdom of a past where I was younger.

3. Wear something that feels YOU.
I know this seems kinda broad and a little weird but I hope you have that one shirt or that one hoodie or cardigan that never fails to make you feel way in your element. Sometimes I like to think of what we wear as our armor. I like seeing articles of clothing as ways of making us feel like fierce and unstoppable forces. When feeling out of touch with yourself, always go for the timeless pieces in your closet, whether it's a favorite dress you've worn a million times or an old, holey, and comfy pj shirt.

4. Hug your dog or cat
I'm going to talk about dogs here because I've never had a cat but you can mentally replace the word dog with the word cat or whatever other animal you have that you feel loved by. Dogs are never judgmental and to them you are the brightest star in the whole of their universe. Your dogs are your biggest fan and are always there to remind you with a lick to the face and a vigorous tail wag that you are a fantastic person.

me and my love, Ginger

5. Watch your favorite movie or tv show.
Having a good laugh or a good cry can be exactly what you need when you're feeling this way. Tune in to that show that always makes you laugh no matter what and whose reruns you never get tired of. Put on that movie you've watched a countless amount of times and that still never fails to make you cry. Tears, laughter, anger, fear...all these emotions that movies and shows evoke in us bring us closer to ourselves. Sometimes while watching my fave movies or TV shows I find that I get lost in their worlds and sometimes even feel like I could be one of the characters. Whether you get strength from the tears, laughter, or from embodying your favorite character, get lost in the movies or shows that are classics to you.

Now and Then (1995)

The Office

6. Look through old photos
I love looking through old albums. Seeing pictures of my parents while they were my age is one of the coolest and most surreal experiences. Being in touch with some aspect of your history, whether you know your entire ancestry or like me, you rely on photo albums to retell the past, is a big part of understanding who you are. Your ancestors, parents, grandparents...don't always have to define you, but they can remind you that you are apart of something big, you belong somewhere, and often I am able to learn or understand something new about myself while flipping through our 90' styled photo albums. When it comes to seeing pictures of myself, I always think about how different I feel now, but that "OMG, that's still me." A me that I could even learn a lot from. Plus there's also proof that at one point I was cool, so I'm bound to be cool again at another point in my life right???

me as a sassy baby who can't b bothered w flash photography (ignore my big phone in the reflection of the photo) ((I hope I didn't just make you realize it's there))

7. Talk to someone who knows you well.
We all have those people in our lives that we feel just KNOW us and GET us in a way that not just anyone does. That person that accepts every side of who we are and makes us feel appreciated and loved. These are the kinds of people that laugh at our jokes, make us laugh even harder, and that are just always on the same wavelength as we are. In our everyday lives we may not get to see these people on a regular basis. Instead, we may find ourselves surrounded by people who mistaken us as mean, dull, unintelligent, overbearing, underwhelming......and we may begin to feel like their perceptions define us. BUT THEY DON'T and that's why I think it's important to surround yourself with people who remind you of why you are important and special.

Feeling completely in touch with myself is always a constant struggle. If you ever find yourself in this position, make sure that the things you surround yourself with are timeless. Things that are always constant and hardly ever have side effects. That's what we need when we start losing touch with ourselves. Solid, reliable, and stable sources of happiness that restore our balance and sense of purpose every time.

best best weeshes to everyone,

Kristal

Routine and Carpe Diem

I know the translation of Carpe Diem is pretty self-explanatory. Seize the day. It's everywhere. On t-shirts, in twitter bios, home decor. . . It's the type of phrase usually accompanied by a wanderlustful photo like this:

Still, no matter how often I would see it or how inspired others seemed to be by it, it never spoke to me in any way. I could imagine what it meant to other people, a sort of YOLO or Live Laugh Love type of thing. Recently however, I FEEL THAT PHRASE INSIDE OF ME. I have been able to identify with it so much lately because it's something that I realize I've been struggling to do: seize the day. There are three things that often block me from being able to live out these two lil' words, Carpe Diem:

1. Routine 
With school back in session, the days seem to be flying by with unforgiving speed. One day its "Ugh, barely Monday..." and in the blink of an eye its, "OMG, already Friday!" Before you know it you've become buried in routine. Routine, of course, is a pretty comfortable and pleasant state to be in. It's what we crave to establish when we have to get used to something new in our lives. For example, being used to the summer and winter break habit of going to sleep at 2 am and not waking up till noon the next day, is something that takes a while to get UN used to once school has us waking up at 6 am.

Stability, comfort, security. These are all the great things that routine provides us with. However, routine is a double-edged sword. That comfort and sense of security can quickly turn into complacency. We begin to move through the days in a robotic motion. Do this, then this, then that then if you have time do that. This leaves little room for change and excitement and makes you forget all about taking life by the reins or spicing things up. Routine has the power to cloud up our minds with tight schedules and make us forget that life is happening right under our noses.

2. Living in the Future
Another thing that keeps me from seizing the day is planning. Yes, planning. Another great thing to do in order to manage your time effectively and stay on top of things. The downside is that I'm constantly thinking about what it is I have to turn in in a few days, what I'm doing on the weekend, what errands I have to take care of next week…I get so caught up in thinking about the future, that before I know it, my present is pulled from right under my feet. I always catch myself in anticipation for what is going to happen in a few hours, a few days, a few months even. Instead of embracing all the wonderful things happening NOW, I try to guess what good things might happen tomorrow. This leaves me detached from my current reality. Distracted by what will be's, that in return, make me forget about what is actually happening, causing my present fade away.

3. Living in the Past
With the present being gone quicker than you expected, it becomes tempting to look back on what if's and wonder what you could have done better. The past can creep up on us is many ways. It can come to us in the form of old friends, mistakes, regrets…

But as Florence implies, it's hard to dance while living with the weight of the past on your shoulders. too often I think about what I SHOULD HAVE said, what I COULD HAVE done instead, and how my life might be better if I WOULD HAVE taken that chance. But how can we embrace today if we are wrapped up in what happened yesterday? Or wrapped up in what COULD HAVE happened? Our present deserves more attention and love than than we may be giving it.

Life can be very tiring with all the things it makes us juggle on a daily basis. It seems like the more we have to do, the harder it is to slow down and make the very best of our present. Carpe Diem reminds me that I have to snap out of it and seize the day by seeing it as a unique being with a lot of potential to be great. Not just as another gray part of my routine.

As cheesy as it may seem, I want to be that person in that first photo up there! Even though we won't be standing on a majestic green mountain everyday and living through a vintage-y filter, we can pretend we are.

I know that Carpe Diem is seen so often and in so many places that it loses its power and meaning, but forget all about the fact that it may be overused and just SEIZE THE DAY.

:-)

Kristal

What Crushes Do To Us...

Tis the season of heart-warming love letters, secret admirers, and the soul draining ruthlessness of crushes. These things come packaged in heart shaped boxes with ribbon bows laced up top, and while they are mostly sweet, there's always a catch...There's a reason the Jonas Brothers call it a LoveBug. Once you've been bitten, you'll find yourself doing things that you'll later be cringing at. Here are 4 reasons why crushes drive me crazy.

1. THEY ARE SO DISTRACTING

Forget about giving your undivided attention to class lectures, and say hello to zoning out while watching your favorite show and having to rewind it. Distraction is the best and worst thing about crushes. Sure, thinking about our crushes always makes us smile whether we're driving home, washing dishes, or pretending that we are paying attention to someone talking to us. But pretty soon that girl or boy will find a way to creep into your thoughts at every. second. of. the. day. Everything finds a way to remind you of them. Sample thought process: Gosh, I'm really hungry.... I wonder what [name of crush] likes to eat...Probably foods that describe them. Like Great Value heh heh heh...Okay FOCUS you still have 50 more pages to read...I wonder what they'd think of this book....Do they read at all?...Are they good at reading the signs?....I mean, obviously we are meant to be together.. 

2. You overthink every encounter you have with them

A glance is worth a million words when it comes to crushes. All of a sudden you swear you’ve got faster reflexes, Spidy Senses, and a trusty intuition that together tell you whether your crush is into you or not. You become fluent in the hand movements and facial expressions of body language. A wave and casual 'hey' from them will never be simple again. How long did they wave for....was it more of a 'salute' wave or an excited wave...Did they mean hey as in hey or as in hheeeeeyyyy ;)...? Despite your senses being heightened, you become oblivious to everything else around you. All you can seem to do is read into every word, tick, and chuckle that comes from them. You link their every last breath to the conclusion that they must be crazy about you. And once you get home you replay every bit of conversation exchanged, dissecting their every word like the crazy, mad, love scientist that you are. 

3. You may only be ‘In Like’ with the IDEA of them

I detest when people say this. Leave me and my hypothetical relationship alone!!! Unfortunately, they are right. This is one of the worst side effects of having a crush on someone. You create these ideal scenarios, putting words in this person's mouth and assigning them certain characteristics, actions, and reactions. This may be great and dandy in a harmless daydream, but in reality, you actually have to get to know this person. Sometimes it’s hard not to get carried away in some romantic reverie of them, but doing this can leave us disappointed in the end because our interactions with them may not always go as we imagined them. When we do get to know the real them we may be disillusioned and not because they turn out to be total jerk faces (although they might) but simply because they are real people. That’s why it’s important to not base their actions off your ideal situation, but just get to know them for who they really are. A crush can feel unattainable and therefore seem like an other-worldly being, but they are real people, and deserve to be treated as so, not just as ideal manifestations of your love-bitten imagination.

4. They make you subconsciously alter your behavior

This one can be tricky because its not always intentional. Changing yourself for someone is never worth it, but on a small scale, we sometimes can’t help it. This kind of behavior varies between two extremes: A carefree you who tries really hard to be nonchalant and blasé OR a giddy you who catches yourself laughing a little harder and longer than everyone else at their jokes (complete with a thigh slap and a fist to the table). 

When they’re around, you may find yourself talking AT your friends instead of talking TO them because all you can think about is the fact that your crush is only a few feet away can probably hear you and OMG did I just see them staring at me from the corner of my eye?? You filter certain actions and phrases out and try to emulate the person that you think your crush might be attracted to. I am guilty of all of the above and it is way lame because the real you is shoved under your bed like a bunch of dirty socks. But you are not a bunch of dirty socks! You are you! Great ValYOU. ok too far. ANYWAY, acting like someone you're not never works, so don't let the butterflies in your stomach change who you are.

Even though crushes can sometimes be the worst, more than often they are plain CUTE. We all overthink our interactions with someone we like, set aside a little more time in the morning to make sure our hair is on point, and let ourselves get distracted by daydreams. We all get them, and even though the start of all my crushes begin with an 'Uh oh, here we go...', that lil' bit of love, whether it's reciprocated or not, always makes our lives a bit sweeter.

Wishing you guys a super sweet week

:-)

Kristal

Know Your Thesis

Lately I've been thinking a lot about thesis statements...And I know that sounds like the opening sentence of a sad story called My Life As An Essay Writer or something, but let me explain. Thesis statements are absolutely CRUCIAL to an essay. Your thesis statement is the sentence that tells the reader what your essay is going to be about. It reveals whether you have a stance on something, what it is, and why you believe in what you do. It sets up an argument for your essay, a point. Without one, your essay is nothing more but lonely scattered thoughts and ideas without a home.

It can take FOREVER to come up with the perfect thesis for your essay. It’s a headache inducing process that has the potential to make you detest the essay writing process because it's been hours and all you have is this

But after you take a deep breath and come up with a sparkling thesis, the world automatically becomes your oyster and you are reminded that you are a magnificent creature of the Earth that will never stop leveling up. SO after that mouthful, I hope you have a clearer picture of the weight that thesis statements carry. 

As a creative writing major, I am always writing essays. Because of my recent obsession with thesis statements, the same questions that I ask myself when trying to come up with a thesis, are now the questions I ask myself on a daily basis. What is my point? What am I trying to communicate to people? What message do I want to deliver? These are the big questions guys!!  

Looking for a point to everything can be exhausting. But the truth is, things just feel better when they have a purpose. Having a point gives you a sense of control over whatever it is you are doing, even when you're not writing an essay. We are all walking around with our own LIFE thesis statements. These statements reflect our goals, endeavors: our purpose. We each have our own unique thesis embedded into us that determines what our next move will be and where we eventually want to get.

Thesis statements don’t come easily. It can take years and years of trial and error to figure out who we are and what we want to do, let alone spell it out into a concise statement. Some of our favorite people are impossible to put into words, so I’m not trying to say that we should limit ourselves to be defined by one sentence. If anything, we should make sure our thesis statements stay fluid. Something I’ve learned from being a writing tutor is that the writing process is not linear. Essays have beginnings and ends on paper sure, but the process is circular. There are always things to improve, change, and if we want, we can even start all over. Life works that way too. We are born and then we die, but all the stuff in between is in flux. It’s a process that is never complete, where things are constantly changing. There is no such thing as reaching our final form or final draft. The best thing to do is embrace the chaotic cycle of self-discovery and before you know it you'll find the 'sis' to Spongebob's 'the'.

:-)

Kristal

Playlist: Nostalgic for Yesterday and Tomorrow

As we grow older, no matter what stage of our lives we may be in, time becomes a precious thing. Whether the word 'time' makes you think of your tight schedule, sparks good memories, or drives you to ponder on your future, time makes itself known to us in many ways.

I know that as I get closer to hitting the big 2-0, I feel compelled to hold on as tight as I can to my teen years. I also know not much will change just because I'll soon identify myself by a different number, but I can't help but feel caught between the nostalgic pull of my past and the call of an unfamiliar voice from my future. Being caught in this tug-of-war of time can be hard to put into words. It's a myriad of magical memories, could haves, should haves, what if's, and "what will be's".

The songs I've shared today know how to articulate the bitter and sweet emotions that overwhelm us when we think about time. I hope they help you relish in the moment and pause time only if for a second.

Find some of my fav lines from each song while you listen:

1. We'll laugh until our ribs get tired

2. That we are fucking up our lives

but we are having a good time

3. Tryin' to find the part of me my friends all miss

4. But time betrays me & I get older one more year

5. When I can hardly walk & my hair falling out, we'll still stay up till morning

6. If we're both not married by 25, I hope that there's some childish spark still alive

7. I play the number's game to find a way to say that life has just begun

8. I wanna shine on in the hearts of men, I want a meaning...

Nostalgic For Yesterday and Tomorrrow from Kaleidehscope on 8tracks Radio.

:-)

Kristal

The Beauty In A Coincidence

I’m a sucker for coincidences. Nothing fuels my spirit quite like the rarity and uncanniness of an unlikely situation. I’m also a very lazy person and the great thing about coincidences is that they just happen without you having to do anything. Little gifts from a greater force that don’t require any planning on your part. Some may put smiles on our face while others may lead us to shake our fists at the sky and plead ‘why me?!??’ And sometimes they are so out of this world that you realize how small it actually is.

Coincidences can happen on a small scale. You know, the ones where you’re humming a song while getting ready one morning and right when you turn on your car engine, the radio starts blaring that very song. Or the more freaky ones where you’re watching a spooky paranormal movie and you hear some unexplained rustling in the kitchen...Of course, how much we read into these coincidences is up to us. We may dismiss them as little nothings, accidents that ‘psssh, obviously don’t mean anything’. And if you're like me you’ll insist that the ones in your favor are ‘total signs from the universe!’, and you'll completely ignore the ones that tell you ‘it’s simply not meant to be’ OR that scare the crap out of you like that unexplained rustling.

One of the biggest coincidences of my life spent years in hiding, dormant, waiting for the right moment to catch me by surprise. It surfaced during my senior year when I got to travel to London and Paris with a handful of my fellow classmates. It wasn’t until I traveled miles over the ocean to another country that I realized that one of my classmates, Jennifer, had gone to the same preschool as me, which is about 5 states away from where we were both currently living. With eyes wide open our disbelief grew as we first confirmed having the same preschool teacher, then agreed on the name of our preschool, and later even recalling the grassy green hill behind the playground. We both laughed in complete shock at how crazy it was that our paths crossed at 4 years old and again in high school. Visiting ‘It’s a Small World’ in Disneyland Paris made the whole thing so much more surreal. Here we were miles away from home, in a city that one may only get to visit once in a lifetime, discovering how small the world truly is. That the world is full of domino effects and chain reactions (which is why we have to be super careful when traveling back in time). One little decision you make can change the entire course of your future.

I’ve heard people say that coincidences are the universe’s way of letting us know that we are on the right path. Little checkpoints that a greater force places in our lives to let us know that where we are is where we need to be in that moment.

Something that got me thinking even more about the beauty of coincidences, was a movie I recently rewatched called, The Giant Mechanical Man. *I’m not gonna spoil the movie or anything but there may be some details here that you might not want given away if you plan to watch the movie, so read at your own discretion* The film follows two people: Tim and Janice. Tim, played by Chris Messina, makes a living by painting his face silver and blue to resemble a giant mechanical man and entertain passersby in the city.

The movie then introduces Janice, played by Jenna Fischer, who is on the verge of losing her apartment and in desperate search of a job. Janice has seen the giant mechanical man around the city, and later recognizes him in an interview on television. In his interview, Tim talks about how the routines of life can lead you to feel like you're alone, crazy, and like you have no idea what you're doing, words to which Janice immediately relates to. Coincidentally, Janice and Tim both land jobs at the zoo. Janice meets Tim, but has no idea that he is the giant mechanical man who she made a connection with earlier in the film. Tim does not reveal to Janice that he is in fact the giant mechanical man, but nonetheless these two lost souls fall in love.

When I saw this movie for the first time last year, I fell in love with it because I too thought frequently about how I have absolutely no idea what I should do with my life, and how lonely the world can seem while feeling that lost. This year, although I wouldn't say I have all the answers yet, it resonated with me in a different way. It made me think about the beauty of coincidences. How the world can seem so much smaller, yet so much bigger when two parallel lines finally meet at one point. Although coincidences may remind us how small we are in the grand scheme of things, they can also make you see the world as a place full of possibility. Coincidences may be rare, but when they happen, they reinforce the magic that happens when paths cross, when the seeds that the universe or some greater being scattered across your timeline finally begin to sprout. Coincidences are not just about 2 people meeting and falling in love. They most definitely can be, but more so they are about the rare and simultaneous meeting of any two things. Two people, a person and a song, a person and a few words, a person and a strange occurrence, a person and an opportunity…

Really, the only downside to coincidences, especially for a lazy person like me, is that we can’t live our lives waiting for them. We can’t just walk blindly and hope that the stars will happen to align in our favor. We must adopt the role as forces of nature and forge our own paths, creating our own fate, and trust that we’ll lead ourselves in the right direction, toward the right places, things, and people.

Hoping your week is filled with many cool coincidences,

Kristal :-)

What’s Hair Got To Do With It?

Hair and Us

Hair. It’s on our head. It’s our signature look. It’s what we spend a few extra minutes on in the morning. It’s what we touch-up when we come across our reflection on someone’s car window. A mane that helps us attract mates or intimidate predators. For some of us, it’s just there. For others, its’s not there at all. Whatever your relationship with hair is, you’ve probably had a ‘Bad Hair Day’. But so what?

Hair and Me

Well, I learned on January 1st, 2014 that hair has so much to do with how satisfied I am with my appearance. On that day I had no idea that asking my auntie to cut off my medium-length, heat damaged, and bleach-abused ombre, would be the best decision I made that year. After she blow dried it to perfection I could not stop swishing it around in front of the mirror, admiring how effortlessly it moved, how perfectly it framed my face, how it felt both heavy and weightless at the same time. It was angled perfectly, as though my aunt had crunched out some geometric calculations on a piece of paper before lifting her scissors. I had found my signature look, reached my final form, and It. Felt. Amazing.

Hair and Confidence

Well ever since that magical moment, I’ve been searching hopelessly for that same feeling of blissful harmony. My hair grew out. Lost it’s edge. Literally. The angles were miscalculated, the edges unflattering, I was off balance. My hair is still short because that one haircut convinced me that I’m okay with never having beautiful mermaid hair as long as I can feel the way I did on January 1st, 2014. But somehow no other haircut has matched that one. I know now that having a good haircut has so much underestimated power. I found that while I had a good haircut I felt unstoppable. And when you feel unstoppable about how you look, you feel unstoppable in what you do.

Hair is like armor. And not in the way that you can hide behind it. But in the way that it can make you feel equipped to do anything. I’m not sure what it is about my bangs falling just the right way that makes me feel ready to conquer. Everything else about my look could be on point but if my hair isn’t right, then nothing is. That’s what’s so great and frustrating about hair.

Hair and Happiness

A line from a book I read a few months ago seemed to touch on this hair phenomenon as well. In the young adult novel The Difference Between You and Me by Madeleine George, narrator Esther shares, “My mom always said that you can make someone a better person by giving them the right hairdo. She thought that a lot of people were depressed just because they didn’t know how to do their hair right.” So there you have it, literary proof.

I know it sounds silly. That hair could ever have anything to do with your level of happiness. But there’s something about hair that has of way of making everything right or everything wrong. So hair?? More like AIR, amiright?? Jk. Too far.

Hair and Change

From the media I have seen a pattern within people and their relationship with hair. Usually people change their hair after a major alteration in their lives or while facing a crisis. Whether you choose to shave your head like Britney Spears did while facing a difficult time in her life, 

OR you dye your hair blond like Ryan (The Office) after going through a major identity crisis,

OR you get a little bit of highlights like Ann Perkins (Parks and Recreation) after a breakup,

altering your hair may be your own form of acknowledging the complicated moments of life.

That’s not to say that if you’ve ever dyed your hair blond, it was probably a way to cope with the panic that time is fleeting and the world will one day inevitably END. Sure, you may have been using your hair to mark the end or the beginning of an era, but sometimes we’re just feeling experimental. I mean just because I have purple highlights doesn’t mean I’m going through a crisis….does it? Well, maybe…But for me change is not only good, it’s necessary. Life is full of routines and routine can dull out our senses. One of the things I can constantly change is the way I look. A new haircut can put a new spring in your step. Parting your hair a different way can make you feel like a brand new person.

I’m not saying hair is everything that defines you. Or that looks define us, because they don’t. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t change our aesthetic, or play with our looks (or should I say locks) to find what makes us feel awesome.

If you’re not 100% happy with your hair at the moment, GET IT CUT or try something new. It will change your life. I guarantee it. And if for some reason your new haircut turns out to be a hot mess, just listen to Regina Spektor’s words in ‘Ghost of Corporate Future’, “It always grows back, hair grows even  after you’re dead”

Wishing everyone a good hair week,

Kristal

Low-Key New Year Resolutions

   Happy New Year everyone! It’s 2015 and you know what that means!!!!!! Well nothing really, except that it’s now 2015. I know a lot of us can be anti-new year resolutions, meaning that we do not see the point in creating resolutions just because another year has passed. I mean a year, just like a week, a month, and an hour, are man made concepts to give the illusion that we have some sort of control over time, whatever that is. Basically, we should be encouraged to change our lives any time we want, not just on January 1st. Nonetheless, I always think the new year is a nice little push for us procrastinators who keep saying we’ll ‘do it tomorrow’ and for the dreamers who keep saying they’re just waiting for the ‘right time’. What’s different about this list is that it isn’t going to tell you to study harder, stop procrastinating, or to finally make time to work out (All things I have not done LOLZ). Instead I’ve shared some rezzies that are low-key, but that I hope can give you a high-key positive outlook for 2015.

1. Take note of the times you are happy.

   As the year passes by many suckish things can happen. Unfortunately, sometimes the negative things are what take up most of our brain space. This is why rezzie #1 is to take note of the times when you are happy. Write down accomplishments or simple things that make you smiiiiiile in a journal, on the notes section of your phone, in a word document, or even on little slips of paper that you keep inside a jar. This may seem cheesy at first, but trust me, after you read back what you’ve written, all sorts of warm and nostalgic feelings react inside your body. I love doing this because I easily forget any good things that have happened especially while I’m stressed out about school or sad for no reason in particular. Once I started writing down what big and little things made me happy in the span of say, a month or even 3 days, I realized that ‘hey! Life is not that crappy. Awesome things happen!’ Remember, not all good things happen on large scales. Sure they can be as big as landing an awesome job, but also as little as discovering a really rad song.

2. Become a yes man/woman.

   In our everyday lives we are faced with a load of decisions. Socially and academically, we either embrace new experiences or reject them. A lot of things that I have rejected in the past whether out of fear, intimidation, or indecisiveness, have become some of my biggest regrets! That’s why rezzie #2 is to say ‘YES’ to more things. Sometimes thinking too much about possible outcomes can psyche you out of doing something or trying something new. Don’t let the fear of failure be the reason you don’t try something. Not everything we do is going to go exactly the way it does in our heads and that’s okay! I know we’ve heard it all before, but if you don’t throw yourself out there, you can miss out on some great experiences and lessons, even if all you did was make clumsy mistakes along the way. The world needs u and u need the world.

Knowing when to say yes, also means knowing when to say NO:

   We live in a world that wants us to say yes to everything and embrace all things. We’re surrounded by phrases like ‘Say YES to life!’ or ‘Carpe Diem’. They make us wanna do things and really take life by the reins. But sometimes you just. don’t. want. to. do. something. Whether it’s an invite to a stranger’s party or a cashier’s pleading offer to apply for store credit, knowing when you want to say ‘no’ is important. We may not wanna be a party pooper or seem like a total pessimist, but if we simply don’t feel like doing something or someone, we shouldn’t feel guilty or afraid to say so! It’s important to know our limits to show us that we care about our little selves.

   3. Don’t be afraid to be alone. A lot of us feel the constant need to be surrounded by others so that we don’t wilt into the unsocial butterfly that so many of us fear becoming. Whether you’re sulking about not being in a relationship or moping about not having any Friday night plans, stop giving alone time a bad name in your book. Remember, being alone doesn’t equal being a failure or being a weirdo or being unwanted.

Filmaker Andrea Dorfman and poet Tanya Davis have a very nice video on spending time alone that is def worth the watch:

   4. Do things for others and yourself. This can be done with something as little as a compliment. Sometimes we see something in a person that we really respect or appreciate, but we keep it to ourselves. We think that they must already know that they are super talented or funny or smart, but knowing that someone cares about something they probably try really hard at, can lift their spirits mountains beyond mountains!

   We all feel a natural inclination to help someone when we know they’re in trouble, but we hesitate to actually give them a hand. Next time that you hear that little voice in your head saying ‘let them borrow your pen’ or ‘defend that person from that rude fool!’, act on it! It’ll make their day and their reaction can make yours. 

   More importantly, do things for yourself. Something I did in 2014 that really made a difference in how much i believe in myself as a human being, was giving myself encouragements. Tell yourself how awesome you are. How great your face is, how funny your are, how intelligent you are. You can hide messages in your wallet, backpack, or notebook telling you ‘do not give up just yet!!!’ or ‘your hard work will pay off!’ or ‘dam. u look so good today’. It may seem silly at first but the more you say good things about yourself, the more you will start to believe them. The important thing here is to be your own motivator because sometimes you will be the only person telling you that you CAN do something.

   And after you accomplish what you thought was impossible, go out and treat yourself! Take

yourself out to eat, splurge on that one thing you’ve been hesitating to buy, or spend a luxurious day home, napping and binge watching your fave TV show.

   5. Let go of 2014 crap. Another reason I like January 1st of every year is because it can be seen as a checkpoint. Visualize that all your progress has been saved, and there’s nowhere to go but forward. You choose what you want to bring into the new year and what you don’t care to dwell on anymore. Doing a little New Years cleaning can help you take on the year minus the persistent memories of the pervious year. Maybe it’s a receipt from an unpleasant dinner date OR a rejection letter from a school you swore you were getting into OR an essay you got an F on. Tossing these mementos in the garbage doesn’t mean you hate a person with bitter passion or hate yourself for failing. All it means is moving on from a time in your life that you don’t want to stress out about anymore. And because one of my personal low-key resolutions is to curse more (lol), just fuck it, and move right along.

   Remember guys, if things don’t go as planned, it doesn’t mean that things are going wrong, they are just happening differently and that is okay. So go forth and conquer 2015.

:-)

-Kristal