http://bouffantsandbrokenhearts.tumblr.com/post/73280132147/tears
There are days when you feel like what the first verses of “Be Safe” from The Cribs is describing.
One of those fucking awful black days
When nothing is pleasing and everything that happens
Is an excuse for anger
An outlet for emotions stockpiled, an arsenal, an armour
These are the days when I hate the world
Hate the rich, hate the happy
Hate the complacent, the TV watchers
Beer drinkers, the satisfied ones
Because I know I can be all of those little hateful things
And then I hate myself for realizing that
There's no preventative, directive or safe approach for living
We each know our own fate
We know from our youth how to be treated
How we'll be received, how we shall end
These things don't change
You can change your clothes
Change your hairstyle, your friends, cities, continents
But sooner or later your own self will always catch up
How is it that The Cribs captured the thought process one goes through during a bad day so well? They even took a philosophical approach towards addressing it. They’re absolutely right! Bad days are immensely daunting. It’s very easy to feel defeated. Your thoughts and feelings will cloud your mind instead of drawing attention to all the greatness in your life. You will torture yourself by over-thinking your situation. You’ll even regret getting out of bed.
Instead of dealing with your problems head on, your unforgiving pity party is going to tear you apart. You’re probably rolling your eyes at how easy it is to say “deal with your problems” instead of actually dealing with said problems. (Or you might roll your eyes at how annoying and cliche the previous sentence was.) So, why do we feel like that? What can we do to get to the bottom of this? What is the best way of addressing our feelings other than just internalizing the anger and passively-aggressively and lashing out on others over time?
Instead of dealing with your problems head on, your unforgiving pity party is going to tear you apart. You’re probably rolling your eyes at how easy it is to say “deal with your problems” instead of actually dealing with said problems. (Or you might roll your eyes at how annoying and cliche the previous sentence was.) So, why do we feel like that? What can we do to get to the bottom of this? What is the best way of addressing our feelings other than just internalizing the anger and passively-aggressively and lashing out on others over time?
1. Figure Out All The Factors That Are Contributing To Your Feelings
It’s best to take a step back to gather your thoughts together before you act on what you want to do. It’s prudent to be fully aware of the kind of situation you’re dealing with.
- Think about everything that might or should be a part of the problems.
(Including the Notable aspects, the indifferent situations, and the awkward sections. Even if they make you cringe. (This is for your best! I'm 100% sure that you’re tough enough to handle thinking about the embarrassing.) - Sort out all your thoughts.
- Keep your thoughts compiled into a memory file.
- Try to see all possible perspectives from the situation.
Consider asking yourself the following questions…
Why am I feeling like this? Did someone do me wrong? Did I do wrong to someone? Am I mad? Am I sad? Am I upset? Am I disappointed? Am I annoyed? Could this have been avoided? Could I have done something different? Could this be angst? Has this been slowly brewing for a while? How valid is my perspective on the situation? What else is happening in my life that could be contributing to my current emotions? What bad things are happening in my life right now? What good things are happening in my life right now? How do I benefit from confronting this situation? How do I not benefit from confronting this situation? Could this be fixed? If so, how could this be fixed? How long? Is this for the best? What does "best" even mean in this situation?
Depending on the situation or people that put you in this mood, remember that you're not being “insane” or “dramatic” or “unnecessarily sensitive” for feeling lousy. Those nasty adjectives are specifically crafted comments said in order to make us feel silly or guilty for noticing something wrong in our lives. Don’t let others manipulate your feelings. You’re more than allowed to feel undervalued, inadequate, or empty. And, you need to address this issue before it eats you alive.
2. Remind Yourself That You Are A Boss Bitch
http://vnareyes.tumblr.com/post/112954298065/thatgaykidonline-my-all-time-favorite-singer
I think Kate Nash explained it best in the gifs above.
Portray confidence for the sake of yourself. If someone happens to credit your thoughts and opinions more due to your self-assurance than that’s great. If someone takes your confidence as arrogance and uses it to discredit your opinion, then they can fuck off.
Bonus Tip: If you need help portraying confidence, or require a support team, I suggest that you once again take advice from the wonderful Kate Nash and start a Girl Gang. Contrary to one might believe, a girl gang is not a group of temptresses that go around breaking hearts. (Although that sounds like an amazing and intriguing story idea.) It’s kinda of a support group were girls (or boys) get together and talk about everything that they need to talk about. You can learn more from the Youtube video below.
3. Say What You Want To Say
Sometimes women (or men) are too polite to be upfront about upsetting news. Once it gets to the point were you want to say what you gotta say, you need to say what you want to say. And, let the words flow out. Honestly, I want to see you be brave! (Make sure to only discuss the things that make you feel comfortable sharing or asserting.)
Consider this SNL sketch as an inspiration to be honest and unapologetic about your opinions/thoughts.
(EDIT: So apparently SNL, being the private dicks they are, decided to take down their video. And, I can't find another version of it.)
You don’t necessarily need to be nice but, you do have to be kind. No low blows. No cheap shots. No matter how creative you might think they are. Once you start name calling or pointing out other people’s insecurities, you’ve completely stopped being civil and you become the bad guy. Take what Tom Hanks's character confesses in You’ve Got Mail, “I must warn you that when you finally have the pleasure of saying the thing you mean to say at the moment you mean to say it, remorse inevitably follows.”
Hoping you all embody your inner Boss Bitch,
- Vianey
Vianey is a nineteen year old self-identified ranter who can be easily wooed by funny three-dimensional TV characters. When she is not watching sitcoms, bugging her pets, or dancing sporadically she posts every Friday on Kaleid-Eh-Scope.
Art Inspired by the wonderfully great Kate Nash <3
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