The Metaphorical Ghosts Of Your Past

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Whenever I walk around my university (also known as the time when I’m perfecting my resting bitch face), I can’t help but think about the lives, backstories, and points of those walking around me. Where is he going? How did you do your hair? Is the reason why she’s wearing workout clothes because she worked out earlier or because she feels comfortable wearing what she’s wearing? Whoa, partner, why are you rushing? When was the last time he cried? (You know all the normal stuff people think about when they’re walking to class.) I also attempt to decipher the things that run through their individual heads. Are they worried about anything? If so, could they be worried about their current or lack of a relationship? Maybe they’re worried about their past. Could it be possible that they haven’t hugged their mothers in a long time? What if they don’t have their mother anymore? I realize this might sound vain but, would they find it weird that I’m trying to figure their lives out? Would they even think of me? (Yeah, I have a way of turning things into some existential BS real quickly.)

Evidently, I think a lot about baggage. For those of you who haven’t heard this term ever, the third available definition for baggage by Urban Dictionary is described as “an issue regarding a person's past that can affect their current disposition”. What bad thing happened in this person’s past that shaped the senile behaviors within them? This is the juicy stuff that develops a character on TV. Or, if you want a in real life example, once you learn about another person’s baggage you see them another way. You will probably find yourself justifying their actions by what you know about their past.

I’m no stranger to this term. I have my fair share of baggage. As much as I cover it up with my Boss Bitch attitude, there are metaphorical ghosts from my past that like to pop up and cause me to have cringe-attacks. Oh, I shouldn’t have done that! Oh, that could have been easily avoided! Oh, I should have known better! My past really does affect my judgement. 

(http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/.a/6a00d8341c630a53ef0133edd51ff3970b-pi)

Earlier I hinted at my reflective tendencies while I walk around my university. (I need something to keep my mind off of how exasperated I feel after I walk-up the stairs. And, since it is publicly frowned upon to sing out loud, what else am I supposed to do?) While at uni, I don’t only see strangers. Sometimes I’m surrounded by people I know. Some are great friends that I love and appreciate. Some are former-strange people that I used to friend. (I have been known to be bitter.) 

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Whenever I see those people, anger fuels my veins. There are reasons to not be fans of them and they’re valid, by my calculations. My displeasure towards them isn’t solely constituted by the ways in which they’ve smitten me but, by the fact that they’re walking-proof of the kind of person that I used to be. (Yes, my biggest annoyance with my baggage(s) is a selfish one.) This baggage is a constant reminder of the embarrassing things that have happened to me. 

It sucks to be bothered by baggage. I’m stuck and I don’t know what to do. There is no room to win against the ghosts of your past (A.K.A. baggage). You can’t express bitterness because they’ll have the upper-hand. You can’t swallow up your pride because there is too much bad blood to shed. You can’t avoid them because they have as much as a reason to be there as you do. This baggage is here to stay and haunt me, for the time being. 

I guess all I could do, or all anyone who might be dealing with this issue can do is take Ted Mosby’s advice. As Ted so eloquently puts in season five of How I Met Your Mother, “Everyone’s got some baggage; it’s part of life. But like anything else, it’s easier when someone gives you a hand with it.”

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If the best we can do to get over our baggage is seek people out, then that’s a pretty good reason to have a good crew behind you. Our loved ones will know how to handle the perfect balance of “treat yourself to a good rant” to “you’re better than this; get over it”. 

The people that can help us deal with baggage don’t necessarily need to people that we know or even people. They can be found by the music that we listen to or, by playing with your pets or, by doing activities that make us happy, like sports (probably). A good album to listen to when you're dealing with stuff is Trouble Will Find Me. Then again it is one of my favorite albums and it will always have my seal of approval for everything. 

<3

- Vianey

Vianey is a nineteen year old self-identified ranter who can be easily wooed by funny three-dimensional TV characters. When she is not watching sitcoms, bugging her pets, or dancing sporadically she posts every Friday on Kaleid-Eh-Scope.