Lessons From a Zumba Session

So this week I finally got back to reading Yes, Please by Amy Poehler which Vianey kindly lent me about 5 months ago. 

Yup, it's been a while. One of the things that the lovely Amy Poehler talks about is how she first fell in love with Improv. Now, just in general reading about Ms. Poehler’s life really makes me reflect upon my own and the very little chances that I have taken. I started thinking about how I treat my everyday life as the opposite of the way she describes Improv. I have to have things planned ages in advance, I hesitate way too much, and I’m afraid of letting loose. Later that same day I went to Zumba class with my mom. While trying to keep up with all the cumbia, salsa, and hip hop moves, I started thinking even more about all the ways that I am holding back in life. Other than giving me an awesome workout, Zumba has also made me question just how much I am actually living. Here are 5 things that Zumba has reminded me to do...

1. Don’t be afraid to take up space

When I first enter the Zumba room, I feel like I have to stand somewhere in the back taking up as little space as possible. Arms tucked in, legs close together, maybe a little bit hunched.Someone that is trying to roll themselves up into the tiniest ball possible. A little roly poly afraid to let their existence be known. I find that a lot of the times when I am in a group setting I feel hesitant to open up. Not opening up can really hurt the potential connections you make with people. It sucks because people rarely get to see the real me and then all that held back energy turns into this big ball that later explodes when I'm alone again. While most of this stuff is messing with us internally, it shows on the outside. Our body language can reveal all. But seriously, opening up from that tight and repressed position is so much more liberating and rewarding in the end. You are allowed to make exaggerated gestures and be demonstrative and expressive. Don't apologize for liveliness or excitement. Claim your space and revel in it. 

2. Don’t concern yourself with what everyone else is doing

My initial response in this new setting is to always look around me to see how other people are doing something that I'm unsure of how to do. Watching how someone else moves their hips during a certain step or where they put their hands during a salsa move has saved me from looking like an oversized baby who is barely learning how to walk. Watching other people can teach us a lot about what we could be doing, but there may come a point where looking at others is only making us more insecure about the way we are doing something. Everyone is going to work at their own pace and with their own style and flavor, so don't compare your choices in life to anyone else's. I am always comparing my path to others' and pointing out how some people are basically being better versions of myself and walking on all these routes toward success that I haven't even found yet. But this gets you nowhere. Doing something differently and at your own pace does not mean you are doing it wrong. 

3. Just act like you know what you're doing

If there is anything that I have learned from Zumba other that the fact that I am uncoordinated it's that you can’t let embarrassment hold you back. And guys I am not even exaggerating when I say that one of the moves we did had me looking like Napoleon, only a thousand times dorkier. 

But there is literally no point in getting worked up about how ‘silly’ you feel or look. In life, there are so many things that I have no idea if I'm doing right. Even when I have no idea what I'm doing (which is most of the time), it really helps when I pretend that I do. Confidence is key in anything you pursue. It's so important to believe in your own cause and to believe in your own abilities. I am constantly reminding myself to not freak out when I get lost. Freaking out and panicking only leads to overthinking things and second-guessing. Don't give yourself time to think about it, just jump straight into it and...Fake it till you make it? I guess that's what that phrase actually means. 

Get out there and "make the moves up as [you] go."

4. Give it all you got

Zumba will not be a workout if you don't let it be. You can go through the motions with the least possible energy and get nothing out of it. I usually do this when I'm feeling discouraged. I get into a 'what's the point' mood and let apathy take over my entire being. Once apathy gains control of my body, I become dismissive and completely complacent. I beat around the bush and hope that somewhere through all the stalling, the universe will grant me an opportunity or enlighten me with an answer. Sometimes this works, but most of the time it just means I’m being lazy and afraid. It's easy to become disconnected and disengaged, but Zumba has reminded me that it's not cool to be careless, and it rarely gets you anywhere.

5. Laugh at yourself

Half of the Zumba session is me trying to do a move right and failing miserably. Most of the time I find myself giggling at how silly and lost I look in the big mirror. If the group is taking two steps to the right, you can count on me to be taking two steps to the left. One of the things I find fun is to pretend that my mistakes and improvisations are all part of a comedy routine I am doing. I pretend that I have a secret audience watching me put on a silly show. As for real life, humor is one of the things that has kept me sane. If it weren't for my ability to laugh at myself and make fun of, I would be 100% S-A-D 24/forever. Even if in the end you make a fool of yourself, remind yourself that you're still amazing.

☻
Kristal

Hiding Gay in the Media Closet

Being gay has never been the ideal identity in mainstream U.S. culture. Casted as the best friend, the vague partnered neighbors, or the bullied outcast, society makes its peace with the otherness of same sex desires by leaving us in the background of the heterosexual kisses in the rain. How can a heteronormative culture come to terms with same sex partners when love has become the dialogue of a man and woman? 

As a gay woman, my own sexual identity was a mystery to me until high school. Unaware of stigmas or acceptance, I faced my own desires with fear and insecurity. I panicked when I crushed on boys and caught myself noticing their girlfriends as anything but rivals. Staring off into the distance, I noticed cheerleader skirts and freckled faces more than quarterback smiles and cologne. The awareness of otherness only heightened in middle school as girls paired off with boys and spoke of kisses and sex. I was falling behind on the quiet norm of heterosexuality and any sexuality at all. I wasn’t attracted to any boy and fell victim to a loneliness I attributed to my overambitious school schedule. Locker rooms began to be an open space of change that I couldn’t face at all. Eyes on the ground, I locked myself in stalls and ran out as soon as I changed. 

In more than one way middle school changed me and threw me further back in my journey to sexual awareness. I desperately changed my appearance: curled eyelashes, shorter skirts, eyeliner, and fake boyfriends. I wanted nothing more than to understand and fit in. I wanted the boyfriend that would awaken the butterflies and light me up inside out. The numbness worried my mother. Questions began to vaguely hint at whether I was attracted to men and why I couldn’t seem to find interest in a boy. One song changed my life that lonely eighth grade year: Katy Perry’s I Kissed a Girl. 

Life is a complicated mess for everyone and anyone. In a group of friends where the last thing I wanted to do was start a conversation over lunch about whether they also noticed the other girls and not the boys, I wondered at how much longer I would’ve lasted to come out if I hadn’t taken the plunge in high school. 

So what the hell do we do as a society when I only had one song to wake me while everyone else seemed to have hundreds of years of love ballads to daydream about? I began to realize how lost I had been my entire life, how much social stigma had plunged me into a state of ignorance about something as innate as my own sexuality! I wondered why something as clear as the color of my hair now had been such an obscured mystery? Who hid it from me?

Now on a mission from who knows where, I am on the hunt for music, film, and art I can understand. Perhaps one day I’ll be able to turn on the radio and hear a genuine song about love between two people of the same sex at least 6 times in the same hour. Maybe girls kissing on screen or on the tv will stop being masturbatory material for men one day. Maybe people will stop commenting on how I don’t look like a lesbian.

I can only hope for the LGBTQA kids sitting next to their parents in the family wagon. 

- Clara

Clara Acosta is a 19 year old on her way to a Froot state of mind. Grumpy most of the time, she's the sarcastic Debbie Downer of any group with an overtly sensitive set of feelings. Cradling Marina Diamandis and Florence Welch as the icons to worship, she's the friend well on her way to an existential crisis every Wednesday night.

Playlist: Girl Power in the '90s

Ever since I've been using it, the internet has been very good in inducing nostalgia. As a child of the 1990s, I constantly see posts praising the wonderful shows, music, technology, etc. of my youth. It's wonderful seeing posts like those because I would have never realized the powerful influence these objects would carry throughout my life.

Obviously, I've changed a lot from who I was as a kid. Now, I'm more into girl power and music. Therefore, I decided to compile a playlist of how those attributes evolved in the 1990s. I might have been digging these tunes as a toddler or I might have burly uncovered them as an almost-adult. However it might be, I still enjoy listening to these women with powerful voices in these classic tunes.

You can listen to it on Spotify.

<3

- Vianey 

P.S. Try to figure out which tunes I listened to as a kid. (Hint: I was a little Mexican girl.)

Vianey is a nineteen year old self-identified ranter who can be easily wooed by funny three-dimensional TV characters. When she is not watching sitcoms, bugging her pets, or dancing sporadically she posts every now and then on Kaleid-Eh-Scope.

Vianey: Fav Movies

Last year, when I got the Listography book, I reflected on my favorite movies and noticed a common theme. I really love quirky romantic comedies with cool soundtracks. And, since the semester is almost over (BTW Good luck with finals! You’ll do great! I believe in you!), I wanted to share my favorite movies with you. Here are twenty of my favorites that totally hold up after watching them more than twenty times. They are in chronological order.

The Graduate (1967)

It's presence on Netflix is constantly fluctuating. Make sure to check if it's there.

The Breakfast Club (1985)

Pretty in Pink (1986)

Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)

It's definitely on Netflix.

Anastasia (1997)

Totally on Netflix.

The Virgin Suicides (1999)

It's definitely on Netflix.

An Extremely Goofy Movie (1999)

Totally on Netflix.

Ratatouille (2007)

The Princess and the Frog (2009)

(500) Days of Summer (2009)

The Muppets (2011) 

Submarine (2011)

It's definitely on Netflix.

Moonrise Kingdom (2012)

The Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012)

Her (2013)

This Is The End (2013)

The Spectacular Now (2013)

The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014)

Boyhood (2014)

Birdman (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) (2014)

Feel free to ask me why these movies became my favorite. And, I want to know what your favorite movies are! I need to get new faves.

Good luck with finals

- Vianey 

Bonus: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (2010)

(Reason why it's not there: Because I forgot. Sorry this movie is perfect!)

Vianey is a nineteen year old self-identified ranter who can be easily wooed by funny three-dimensional TV characters. When she is not watching sitcoms, bugging her pets, or dancing sporadically she posts every now-and-then on Fridays on Kaleid-Eh-Scope.

An Honest Analysis on Crushes, Expectations, and Grand Romantic Gestures

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Even though they tend to crush your soul, crushes are nice. As depicted by this wonderful Buzzfeed video, crushes feel like…

I usually try to be very low key about my crushes since my shyness and awkwardness tends to not be endearing enough to win the affections of those I fancy. However, like most girls, I have spent various hours fantasizing an ideal future with my crushes and/or overanalyzing the most recent interaction that I’ve had with them. 

I’ll be honest, fantasizing and overanalyzing are not cute little harmless tidbits. They’re cruel and unfair thoughts to have because they create unrealistic expectations for others. It is highly unlikely for people to meet the expectations you've set for them. Not everyone is going to wow us the way that we yearn to be wowed. (Stupid ‘80s Coming-of-Age movies! They made me believe so many things. Cute boys don’t always go around making grand romantic gestures, John Hughes! (RIP) Gosh!) Once our crushes disappoint us by being human we will inevitably begin to feel devastated and disillusioned…

#SorryNotSorry Expectations are unfair for everyone. It’s a lose-lose! Take that one scene where Regina Spektor’s song “Hero” plays as Tom Hansen expects he and Summer to get back together in (500) Days of Summer. 

The accuracy in this scene is brutal! Those “secured” expectations that Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s character has going into that party ended up making him sad and depressed for a really long time. (I refuse to discuss more about this movie since I love it too much to admit it’s problematic nature.)

—————————————————————Segway—————————————————————

Let’s talk about where my unrealistic expectations of crushes come from: Grand Romantic gestures that hotties from 1980s movies did for their significant others.

I, like a large portion of the internet, love seeing pictures or videos of people doing grand romantic gestures for the ones they love. Things like creative wedding proposals or prom-posals are entertaining to watch. It warms our hearts like videos of puppies taking their first steps. However, we don’t talk much about grand romantic gestures that aren’t reciprocated without making fun of them. 

We are quick to judge and call that girl stuck-up or rude, even though we don’t know her entire situation. Maybe it was too soon for him to be proposing. Or maybe she doesn't like him anymore because he doesn't listen to what she has to say. Whatever the reason she has for turning him down by hitting him with a small guitar please be aware that being turned down is not a bad thing. Sometimes we aren’t attracted to others that might be attracted to us. It happens. Science can better explain this with the Dobler-Dahmer Theory. 

The Dobler-Dahmer Theory from How I Met Your Mother explains the effectiveness of grand romantic gesture by taking into account the most important but sometimes forgotten variable of crushes: How does the other person feels you?

"If both people are into each other, then a big romantic gesture works: Dobler, but if one person isn't into the other, the same gesture comes off serial-killer crazy: Dahmer.”

The Dobler-Dahmer Theory Hypothesis: If romantic interest is high, grand romantic gesture is more likely to be effective. Or if romantic interest is low, grand romantic gesture is more likely to be ineffective. 

(Note: The Dobler portion of the theory comes from the popular 1989 movie “Say Anything” with John Cusack portraying Lloyd Dobler. If you’re not quite sure what movie this is, it’s the movie where John Cusack is holding a boom box up high playing “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel. This is Lloyd Dobler’s grand romantic gesture for his girlfriend Diane Court. It’s all very romantic.

Jeffrey Dammer, on the other hand, was an American serial killer. (Don’t google before going to sleep unless you want to be severely paranoid.))

So, let's say that you decided to take a chance and try out a grand romantic gesture with someone special.

If you took a chance and it worked. Good for you! I wish you well!

If you took a chance and it didn’t work…That sucks! However, please respect the other person’s decision. If they don’t feel the same way that you feel about them, then they don’t feel the same way that you feel about them. Contrary to what movies will tell you to do, there isn’t much you can do to change their mind. Please, don’t be creepy and leave them alone! Even though it didn’t work out, I hope that soon you’ll find someone that loves and appreciates your grand romantic gestures. Until then, I wish you well!

If someone takes a chance with you and you don’t feel the same way about them, then know that you DON’T owe them your affections. It’s flattering that they like you but, don’t feel like you’re stuck having to reciprocate your feelings. Don’t let others manipulate you into being in a relationship that you don’t want to be in! And, don’t lead others on! Be honest, stern, and unapologetic. Remember, you don’t owe anyone your affections!

—————————————————————Segway—————————————————————

Now, I will end this article with a bunch of conundrums because that is what love looks like. A bunch of nonsensical explanations that will make sense to only those that were crazy enough to take a chance and it worked.

Even though crushes are nice, they are soul crushing. It's unfair to have unrealistic expectations of others however, don't let that stop you from expecting good things will happen to you. Screw people that are quick to judge and call stuck up or a head in the clouds for your thoughts on romance. Romantic gestures are only romantic to those that want romance with you. Don't get angry or creepy whenever someone doesn't reciprocate your feelings. 

I wish you well. Now go listen to my "Realistic Crush" playlist on Spotify. This playlist is excellent for when you're crushing on someone or crushing bones. This is perhaps the most versatile playlist we've done yet. 

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<3

-Vianey

Vianey is a nineteen year old self-identified ranter who can be easily wooed by funny three-dimensional TV characters. When she is not watching sitcoms, bugging her pets, or dancing sporadically she posts every now on then, mostly on Friday.

DIY Time Machine

I’m going to take things back to the very first post I made called “Low-Key New Year Resolutions” because I have already neglected one of the things I was completely sure I was going to do. Item number 1 on that list was, “Take note of the times you are happy”. By nature, resolutions are bound to be ignored, but seeing as the 21st has announced the first day of Spring - the season of new beginnings - I find it acceptable to start this New Year’s rezzie late. 

One of the reasons I really want to follow through with this rezzie is because lately I have become so forgetful. I blame this on my recent lack of sleep. Being tired can completely throw off the way we normally function and turn us into slow-moving machines that has completely forgotten how to speak in sentences and could really use a nap. Balancing school and work can get exhausting and before I know it the days have all become a blur. That’s why this week I’m going to talk about how you can create your own personal time machine. Inspired by Vianey's "Uninspired DIY", I'll lead you through the 3 simple steps of this project. Disclaimer: this is not a DIY for a machine that let’s you literally travel through time. BUT if you are into metaphorically traveling through time then keep reading!

This idea is not originally mine, and you might have even seen it floating around on the internet yourself. My first thought was that whoever first came up with the idea was a total cheesemaster. OR genius. You decide. You can say both, like me, if you want. But anyway, this time machine can exist in many forms. It can be a list, a box, a phone app, a post it note, a journal…The one I will talk about today is a jar. 

In this jar you are meant to slip in little pieces of paper where you have written what good things have happened on any particular day. The purpose of the jar is to reflect on the things that made you smile or laugh, things that made you happy, any lil accomplishments…etc. You don’t have to write something every day, but it helps to acknowledge at least one good thing that happened, especially if it was an especially crappy day. The great things about this jar is that it will help you give attention to the good things so that the bad things don’t overpower your mindspace. 

Note: Only good thoughts should be allowed in your jar. Your time machine should be programmed to only take you back to the year GOOD.

And now for the steps on how to create your own time machine:

1. Find any jar or object where you would like to preserve time.

2. If you wish, you may decorate your jar. 

This process can be fun and crafty. Paste things you like on your jar: stickers, candy wrappers, pretty paper, doodles, anything that makes you happy!

3. Test run ur time machine by reflecting on the perks of this day.

Note: In this time machine, paper slips and words are not the only thing you can sneak in. Any mementos like photographs, lucky pennies, or ticket stubs are welcome guests.

I call this a time machine because in a way it allows you to slow down time by revisiting the good things from the past. At the end of the year you are meant to open your jar and read back all the wonderful things that happened that year like how you found $5 in your jeans in April OR how you aced your midterm OR how you mixed Valentina Hot sauce with ranch to create the ultimate pizza dipping sauce. Anything from accomplishments, to important realizations, to courageous decisions, to funny moments and exciting moments and inspirational moments.

Note: Nothing is too insignificant for your time machine. As long as it made you happy, it deserves to be acknowledged.

I find that this project is the perfect anecdote for anyone who is feeling discouraged, apathetic, tired, or stressed. The bad things are what usually stand out to us when we look back, and the good can pass right under our noses. I guarantee that by the end of your year, no matter how it may have gone, reading back the moments that made you happy, will fuel you to keep making great memories. I hope you guys enjoy this process and are able to gain something positive from it. Safe travels! 

Thanks for reading☺,

Kristal

“I urge you to please notice when you are happy.” 

- Kurt Vonnegut

GRRL Gang Playlist

(Image from Laura Callaghan)

Happy International Women's Day!!! In order to celebrate, we decided to compile playlist of rad women that can write, rock, and wail...Take that patriarchy.

We hope you find the time to celebrate the wonderful women in your lives today. We wish that all you lovely women out there feel unstoppable, empowered, and beautiful. You all have something amazing to offer to the world and don't you forget it.

<3
The Kaleidehscope Team

Playlist available on 8tracks

GRRL Gang from Kaleidehscope on 8tracks Radio.

 or Spotify